Gabriella Ring
Michigan Wolverine, Sporty Woman
Draft Development:
A Semester of Writing, Revising, and Polishing
The Rough Project Intro, February 20
The first draft of my project began with a scene that was fresh in my mind, the Hockey City Classic game at Chicago. I knew I wanted to start with a personal story to introduce the large topic. The introduction was very information-loaded---I felt like I had to say everything upfront. Later workshops would show me that it would be better to flesh out those ideas throughout the piece, and also insert the most powerful ones in the concluding paragraphs. This draft also has categories I had not yet fully developed, but would continue to as time went on.
Complete Project Draft, March 17
In this full draft, I implemented some of the suggestions I received in one-on-one meetings with Paul, as well as my peer workshop comments. However, the sections read to long with superfluous information scattered throughout. I also still hadn't committed to writing the most difficult section for me on the greed and finances. I knew I could not leave this component out, and that there was still a lot of work to be done in the next few weeks.
Draft after mentor edits, March 29
Meeting with my mentor, Eric Strauss, allowed me to receive a much needed outside perspective from my peers and instructor. He made the most wonderful suggestion of making the introduction universal with the image of the statues at the steps of the Michigan Union, which would appeal to readers in a broader audience than just the Michigan community. With this reworking in mind, I set to clarify concepts, cut unimportant details, and commit to my final title. After this point, minor changes were left for the final draft that would be used to lay out the piece.
My capstone project went from an ambitious, wonderous idea to a full-fledged magazine piece. Below I chronicle various drafts that demonstrate how the piece developed. Clicking the screenshot will download the draft for reading. Ah, progress.
A Word of Thanks
This project would not have been possible without my Capstone course instructor, Paul Barron, my peers who aided me in workshop, my mentor Eric Strauss, and Professor John U. Bacon for all of the sports history he taught me in Fall 2014. Thank you all so much!
A Note on Resources
The research from this piece draws heavily upon the coursepack for EDUC 212 on the History of College Athletics and lecture material, as well as historical sports history like that of Jimmy Valvano's fight with cancer or more recent events regarding Princess Lacey or domestic violence among football players. I strive to be accurate and accountable for the information cited. Please do not hesitate to contact me at gabring@umich.edu should issues of misrepresented facts arise. Thank you.